One Year Down...

Wow. I'm officially done with my first year of college, and I couldn't be happier. For most, no one really knew how hard and stressful this year was for me. Not only transitioning was difficult in the beginning, but everything in between. I've been through hell and back in one year, and I don't even know where to begin. This year seemed like it was a plot pulled out of a CRAZY, downright mangled movie. For those who know the details, I know you would agree, but for those of you who don't...you could only imagine. But, besides the bad, I did have a few good memories in there, including learning a lot about myself. 

I learned I can stick up for myself, and be my own individual. I learned that I am A LOT stronger than I thought I was. I learned that I am worth more than the way people make me feel. I learned that no matter how bad things seem, there is always a fresh start coming the next day.

 Now, two years ago, or even one year ago...If you were to ask me to admit these things, I would NEVER ever be able to. I was a flat out mess...and I will be the first to admit that. I was an anxiety driven mess. I let that downgrade who I was as a person. I let that change who I once used to be. I became the person who was scared of everything. I never smiled or laughed. I was a sad, anxious mess. I shut down, and became a literally potato. And, honestly, if you were to tell me 1-2 years ago, that I would be successfully finishing my first year of college, I wouldn't believe you. I never thought I would make it this far. Somedays, I didn't even see tomorrow. But, that's what anxiety does to you.

 I was always ashamed of it, always hiding it from others. But, this year has made me realize that it's not something to be ashamed of, it's something to be proud of. Yeah, I might have anxiety and its whole "posse", but guess what...I've overcome a lot of what's it thrown at me. And, guess what...I'm still here with a heartbeat. And, that is the most important thing. 

People who knew me, like truly knew me the last few years knew the battles I was facing and how at times I won, and sometimes I really really lost, but somehow, some crazy part of me found every ounce of courage and kept going. And, I couldn't be more grateful that I found that ounce of courage. Because without it, I wouldn't be here today sticking up for myself to people, and being so strong. 

This year has been absolutely crazy. Yeah, every single day I wish for a redo, but I know that won't happen. I just have to embrace what has happened, and move on from there. Move on from my action movie plot of a year, and only hope next year brings a boring documentary. Yeah, that would be nice. Really really nice. 

But, for now...HELLLLLOOOO SUMMMMER! 

Cashier Problems

After two and a half years of my life, I finally kissed Wegmans goodbye to help out full time at my family's business. But, with every job, you learn a few helpful tips...Along my journey of being a cashier, I've come to notice a few things that really irked me. Here they are for your reading enjoyment...

1. NEVER ever ask about someones groceries. You might not want to hear the answer.

2. If someone comes through your line with a box of condoms, and live lobsters, just ignore it. Forget about it, and ignore it. It's the best thing to do. (true story, and yes, I am still scarred)

3. Don't say "good luck" or "I hope it turns out the way you want it to" to a person buying a pregnancy test.

4. Artichokes have SHARP thorns.

5. If your going to be that customer who brings their own bags, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE clean them out. Those things are nasstttyyyyyy. They smell, they are sticky, and they are gross.

6.  If your having a bad day, stay home. Don't make your problems a cashiers problems. We only get paid minimum wage.

7. If you ask me if you hit enter or clear after you sign your name, I will automatically assume you have no common sense. 

8. DO. NOT. PUT. YOUR. SHOPPERS. CLUB. CARD. IN. MY. FACE. THANK. YOU. 

9. I have to ID everyone. So don't get sassy with me.

10. Please don't be on your phone while your cashing out. It makes the cashiers job 10xs harder. We have to assumes things, and then at the end of your 5 minute phone call, we charged you for 5 rolls instead of 4, we didn't scan your coupons, and your upset you didn't have double paper.

11. That's another thing! Don't be that guy! Paper and plastic is OK. Yeah, it's annoying to make them, and yeah it's cuts up our hands, but don't ask for anything more. Paper, paper, plastic. How about, no no and no.

12. If your complaining about how gross the meat is or how the blood is leaking everywhere, what makes you think I want to touch it. Put your meats in a plastic bag! 

13. When I'm looking up the code for a fruit or veggie, don't tell me "it's a carrot" or "its 1.69 a pound". That doesn't HELLP. I still need the code.

14. Weigh your produce people! And if you don't, that's fine! But then don't complain about how I don't know every single fruit and vegetable in the world.

15. Do not hold your hand out and ask me to pick out the change. Get it yourself, it's just ridiculous.

16. Don't make jokes about how I hand sanitize after every order. Everything is dirty, especially the reusable bags and money you just handed me.

17. If you’re buying 5 12-packs of soda, I only need to scan one. I’d rather not move every single one across the scanner, and back into your cart.

18. We have a "box" we stand in for a reason. Please don’t step into it. Personal space. Personal space. PERSONAL. SPACE. Learn it. Love it. Use it.

19. Don’t put your money or coupons on the belt with your groceries. They disappear and you can't blame me for that.

20. When an item doesn't scan initially, don't be that guy who makes "The Joke". "OHHH, I guess it's free!", no. No, it's not. It's not free. 

Side Note: Yes, all of these are situations I have experienced, and yes there are several more. But, these are the ones that made my top twenty. 

Dead Week

Provided by Urban Dictionary...

Dead Week- At any major college or university, the week before finals are administered and most major projects and assignments are due for submission. The late night working and hardcore studying for finals gives the students a zombie like atmosphere, and causes an eerie silence and many blank, unseeing expression

Use it in a sentence you ask? OK.

  Man, this place is silent. Whats going on?

  Dead week man. Killer.

Being that this is my first "Dead Week", I had no idea what to expect, and let me just tell you...it's hell.

Absolute Hell.

It seems like Professors want us to fail, because they are literally setting us up for it. I feel like this week is also known as the week professors enjoy to sit back, laugh & torment students... like their holiday week.

Modern-day name: "Professor bullyism".

They are putting us through this. My theory, well...it's pretty elaborate.

I'm imagining it would take place in a conference including all the professors, as they munch on snacks and drink fruity beverages.

As they make the yearly schedule, they talk about when move-in day is, and when the first day of classes will be. Then they take a break, because picking those dates were extremely hard. After a twenty minute break, they resume to their task at hand. Next, they plan when their Professional Development Days will be, and they throw in Fall Break, and after that, Thanksgiving Break - which is basically a tease for us students.

We get to leave school, and go home for a whole week. It's our first major break away from school, and you feel like you have accomplished so much already, but...no.

The professors strategically place Thanksgiving break 3 weeks away from the end of the semester. They really know how to upset students, and pull at their heart strings. Like, their saying "If you can survive Dead Week, and Finals Week, you can see your family again." So, we have to go back from a fantastic break, to hell. We bust our butts to get all our end of the semester work done for a week, then Dead Week, and then, Final Exam week. They all agree to give their students a crazy amount of work, ON TOP of the final exam they are giving us.

So, they tell us to read one-hundred pages on a topic that isn't even on the exam, and then write a paper about it.

Your kidding me right?

Let me answer that for you...I'm not.

Then, ON TOP of the hundred pages you have to read, and the paper you now have to write, you want me to prepare for your exam.

Oh, but wait, there's more. THEN, you want me to read for forty five poems out of my textbook, and annotate them all in "great detail".

Oh, but, that's not even the cherry on top...

THEN, you email us saying that you want us to read a 209 page book by Thursday? So, all that work, that won't be included in our final exam, but you felt it was necessary to assign it now?

That, my friends is why it's called Dead Week. And, that is only ONE of my classes.

The professors want to see how far we can go until we crack, well guess what, it worked. So, to those professors who are sitting back in a comfy recliner at home, snuggled up next to a warm fire, drinking hot coco, bravo. Kudos to you my friend. You have driven your students over the edge.

So, as I sit here trying to "take a break" from the madness, by de-stressing with my two best friends, Ben and Jerry, I ask you...Please stop. And, let me go home. Thank you.

College Diaries- Part 1

For most of you who have known me for awhile, you would remember how I used to blog. I would blog about my typical, but never normal days, my family, silly high school problems, and just random things. But, this time is a little different. I'm calling these The College Diaries, and it's intended for a mature audience. Well, not that mature, because honestly, have you met me?

So far college has been all the adjectives that you can possibly think of; crazy, demanding, emotional, scary, confusing, presureful (which isn't even a word, but just humor me,) embarrassing, hard, jagged, and, overall, a wild experience. I've dealt with things I've never been introduced too, educated on things I've never heard or seen before, and put up with things and people that I never would imagine I would in a million years.

College is all trial and error. You trust in people, and then get your heart broken. You bounce from friend group to friend group, trying to find where you belong, just hoping that one of those groups will be those friends-that-you've-known-since-college-and-now-your-forty-something-sitting-at-a-tastefully-simple-party-telling-your-daughter-and-her-friends-about. Well, at least that's the life goal for me. But in all seriousness, it's incredibly difficult. You have no idea who these people are. Some are as young as 16 and some are as old as 25. They could have criminal records, or children, or worse...Ebola. It's hard to trust people, but, when you finally do find that tastefully-simple-group-of-friends, you have to hold onto them.

With my first semester almost under my belt, I've learned that I am who I am, and I'm not going to change for anyone. It's taken me a very, very, veeeeerrrry long time to come to terms with this, but I finally have. I've been called names, and abandoned by people, and picked on for who I am for the choices I make for myself. But, honestly, I don't care. Well, I mean I care, but I don't care what other people have to think. I'm sorry I don't drink, and I'm sorry I've never partied. I'm sick of hearing "It's already the end of the first semester, and you haven't gotten drunk once?!?" I'm sorry I don't enjoy drunk people. I enjoy remembering the good times, and not waking up in a puddle of my own vomit. So, no matter how much you try to "sell" this to me, none of that sounds appealing. Sorry.

Second, I'm a virgin and I'm proud. They should make t-shirts with that on it, but, from what I've heard here at school, that company would have $10 to their name-providing the shirts are $10 and I were to buy one. Something I don't understand is when people ask me and I...well first off-why the hell are you asking me?! This is very personal question. When people ask me, and I tell them my answer, they immediately, and I mean IMMEDIATELY go "Awwwww, that's so cute." Or, they use it against me, as if I am different than everyone else. Or my personal favorite..."Your such a baby." Yeah, your right, I am a baby, and SO ARE YOU! I'm a baby who is still learning how to manage the real world. Why would I complicate it with all that?

Like seriously people, were suppose to be so-called "adults". And I feel like I need to use that term very loosely. Yeah, we're away from mommy and daddy, and you can run free, but don't do it naked. Seriously though, people do that, and it's weird. Very. Very. Weird. But, were suppose to be finding out our responsibilities, and who we are as a person, not our tolerance level. I'm sorry if that offends you because you frolic naked. Don't take it personally, your not the only one who enjoys it. So, you do you. And, I'll do me.

This is just a stupid rant from a girl who is crazy conflicted with the thoughts of loving or hating college life. I'm constantly confused, and can never pinpoint my feelings because they are constantly moving. Stay tune for more college diaries.